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The Zen of Blood, Sweat and Sh*t

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Don’t talk shit, they say! (sorry if this word offends, but also as they say, SHIT HAPPENS!)

I’ve had an epiphany, and by chance, doo-doo is something I know a little about.

But let’s go back a wee bit before I get into the main manure of this post.

My epiphany is all about the exchange of poop and its potential wonders. Praise Be Shit!

Let’s dig in, shall we?

Modern science has shown us with little doubt that transfusing blood from a young person into an older person changes the aging process, and in effect, makes the older person’s internal guts younger. It also works vice versa when transfusing from old to young.

It’s incredible and exciting and on its surface seems like a simple answer to concerns over aging.

But, to be fair, it has some worrisome aspects too.

I was a lab technologist for 37 years and I know firsthand that blood transfusion – as lifesaving as it can be – also has troublesome risks because of graft vs host rejection, just like organ transplants.

When we inject someone else’s blood into our veins, our bodies will occasionally start up the weapons’ factories, fire up the army, navy, and air force, and unleash an antibody response to a foreigner in our blood stream. It’s like the Ukraine fighting back an unwanted invader like the Russians. Russian intruders = blood transfusion… Our bodies = Ukraine…

Or maybe Obiwan vs Darth

But let’s get down and dirty now and talk shit…

Blood isn’t the only bodily “fluid” we transplant from one human to another… we also do faecal transplants to inject a healthy biome from one individual to another.

The helpful and healthful bacteria transplanted may help against a range of health conditions, from GI infections to autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

You should really give a shit about this now because Poop is more important than most of us ever realized.

Maybe it’s even a game changer.

Here’s my “wishful thinking “epiphany:

By the same notion that blood transfusion can change our internal aging clock, I’m figuring that a faecal transplant can have some pretty profound impacts too.

How about a potent and potential example or two:

  • Transplant the faecal matter of someone of great intelligence into my colon and KAZAM… I begin spouting E=mc2 like a 21st century Einstein.
  • For the narcissists and villains (sorry to equate the two) out there, we inject stool directly from each year’s Nobel Peace prize winner into the guts of louts and criminals and transform our jails overnight into the Peace Corps. Who needs gun control laws when everyone wants to hug their neighbours around the world. Line up and bend over Putin!
  • Or, perhaps for those of us who pine to look like Chris Pine or croon like Billie Eilish or Beyonce? Pack it in the back door, and start singing or acting like the diva or thespian you always dreamed of becoming.

One last thought… for the larger expanse of us beings who are reasonably content with our inner and outer souls but might feel the need of a refreshing refresh…

… you know, a need to flush our brains of external “shit”.

This information excrement that others have transplanted inside us, often without our knowledge or consent, needs to be flushed from our systems.

An annual FT (Faecal Transplant) treatment could be the hallowed road to peace and harmony, world and inner peace.

Register for yours today… then…

Sing it with me… All We Are Saying… is… Give Shit a Chance

Looking To Your Heart…

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Are all months created equal?

In the world of many major religions, December is different… unique and special.

But unique and special can be overwhelmingly positive – OR – overwhelmingly overwhelming. It can even be both.

December has a concentrating effect on our emotions. This concentration can lead to stress and worry and anxiety for many (I’ll include myself in this group).

In a year (or even years) where you may be impacted by the effects of COVID, or a loss, any loss – a special person in your world, a treasured pet, maybe financial, physical or mental health – finding some inner peace and solace can be very difficult.

Today, as these possible December woes descend, I’m privileged to share with you another guest post from my good friend Jim Ferguson. Jim is a newly “retired” Physician Associate – Canadian (Nova Scotia)-born, but living and raising a family for many years in the beautiful Willamette Valley of Oregon, USA.

Jim is a hybrid in many areas… he combines a deep scientific curiosity and knowledge with great compassion through his religious and philosophical beliefs, thrown in with a blend of humour and silliness that sets him apart.

I’ll let Jim take the reins for today’s helpful post with “heart-healthy” practical advice to support us all through the coming month (and years):

FREE!!

Who amongst you loves FREE STUFF?

I think we all do.

Larry has welcomed another guest blog from yours truly and I decided for this blog it was time to give out some “free stuff”, some “intellectual swag”, information that could have a profound impact on your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.

Most importantly… IT IS FREE!

It doesn’t come in a capsule or tablet. You don’t need an IV infusion. You simply need to read today’s blog and ponder the content and practice the skills. That’s it! Interested? Read on.

Do you remember the television commercial where the woman is stressed to the max and she utters the words “Calgon…take me away!” The next scene shows her in “bubble bath bliss” as the Calgon soaks away all the stress.

If only it were that easy, right!

How many of us have jokingly (or not) uttered those words for a laugh or in a moment of exasperation? While the t.v. commercial is good for a laugh, the underlying existence of stress in our lives is real and for many of us, it is no joke.

We all have experienced the deep valleys of negative emotion and the summits of positive emotion along life’s journey.

What if there were some basic mind-body tools that could help us manage stress effectively. Well…there happens to be such tools and they are simple to learn.

What would you say if I were to tell you that your emotional-wellbeing is closely related to the rhythm of your heart? That there is a direct connection between your heart and brain and that your heart rhythm plays an integral role in regulating emotions and cognition?

There is scientific research from the HeartMath Institute (HMI) that shows these statements to be valid.

We all know emotions are a normal part of life. We all experience the “highs” (joy, love, happiness, peace, exaltation, etc) and the “lows” (sadness, stress, anxiety, depression, etc.).

Nobody is exempt from the rollercoaster of emotions. Neurobiological research shows that with every shift from positive to negative emotion or vice versa, over 1,400 biochemical changes occur in the body and these changes impact not only our physiology but our psychology too.

HMI identifies negative emotions as depleting emotions while positive emotions are renewing emotions.

I doubt this is a surprise to you. I have experienced the energy drain of sadness, depression, stress, etc. and the energy renewal that comes from joy, happiness, love, etc. I suspect you have too.

You are, no doubt, aware that depleting emotions result in the release of “the stress hormone” cortisol from your adrenal cortex.

Medical scientists have been telling us for years that one of the greatest predictors of life longevity is our serum (or salivary) cortisol level. The higher the cortisol, the shorter our life span. The opposite is also true. The lower our serum cortisol the greater our longevity.

When we experience renewing (positive) emotions, our body produces regenerative hormones such as DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) and the love hormone known as oxytocin. These hormones increase our resilience and, like cortisol, can be easily measured with a blood sample.

The cutting-edge research of HMI shows us that by activating the powers of the heart we can reduce stress by shifting from depleting to renewing emotions.

I can hear it now: “I thought the heart was just a pump for the blood!”

We have come a long way in our understanding of the heart and have learned that the heart is much more than a pump. The great mystics, sages, and prophets have known this for thousands of years.

The heart’s rhythm affects the brain’s information processing abilities and emotions. Neurocardiologists have discovered the heart has its own complex nervous system – coined by Dr J. Andrew Armour in 1991 as the “heart-brain”.

The heart has over 40,000 associated sensory neurons that transmit information to the brain including the amygdala – the emotional processing centre of the brain and the thalamus – the critical thinking centre.

The science shows the heart is sending much more neurological information to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. The heart has an electromagnetic field, and this field can be sensed several feet outside the body.

Research shows that while negative emotions can create chaos of the nervous system and our emotions, positive emotions can bring order to the nervous system and to our emotions.

HMI refers to this heart rhythm “order” as coherence. Heart coherence is attained through controlling breathing patterns which subsequently act to coordinate the heart’s rhythm. Positive emotions can be added to the controlled breathing to increase our brain’s ability to make good decisions. This combination can even boost our immune system.

Coherence is a measurable state involving the coordinated alignment between heart, mind, and emotions. It is measured by looking at the heart’s beat-to-beat changes in rhythm known as heart rate variability (HRV).

With sustained positive emotions, we experience high coherence positively affecting our physiological, emotional, and mental wellbeing. With sustained negative emotions, we experience low coherence and disruption in our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. It is that simple.

So… enough of the science review.

I want to leave you with three (3) simple tools that you can practice, thus creating positive coherence in your life promoting a state of physiological, emotional, and mental balance.

Remember: these are practices.

Doing these once or twice isn’t going to cut it. To get the best mind-body “bang for your buck” you must develop the practice over months to years. If you do this, you will have simple tools at your disposal to help you through any stress life may throw at you.

Caveat: if you have health concerns that would prohibit you from performing these practices – don’t do them.

First, I want to teach you the core breathing pattern called “Heart-Focused Breathing”.

Sit in a comfortable position with hands resting on your lap. Now focus your attention around your heart and imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart/chest area. As you imagine this flow, slow your breathing and make the breaths deeper than usual. The ideal breathing pattern is approximately 5 seconds in and 5 seconds out for a total of approximately 6 breaths/minute. Practice this for a minute or two. As you become comfortable with this practice you can lengthen the duration to several minutes. Take notice of how this practice makes you feel. Take note of your heart rate. The research has shown that this breathing pattern is ideal for creating coherence – for shifting one from the stressful “fight/flight/freeze” mode of the sympathetic nervous system to the relaxing mode of the parasympathetic system.

Second, I want to now teach you the “Quick Coherence Technique”.

Begin by initiating the “Heart-Focused Breathing” pattern above. Once you have settled into this coherence-generating rhythm now activate a positive or renewing feeling or attribute such as gratitude, appreciation, love, calm, etc. Take notice of how you feel as you practice this technique. With practice, you can use this technique “in the moment” in any situation that might typically lead to stress. By initiating this “Quick Coherence Technique” you can shift from a potentially depleting situation to one of renewal quickly.

Finally, I want to introduce you to the “Heart Lock-In Technique”.

As you have learned already, begin by initiating the “Heart-Focused Breathing” pattern and then shifting into the “Quick Coherence Technique” by adding the positive emotion or attribute. Now I would like you to practice actively radiating this positive emotion outward to all you encounter. As you practice this technique, take notice of your breathing and heart rate and rhythm. Take notice of your own emotions and of those with whom you engage while practicing this technique. This is a powerful renewing practice that can have amazing benefits for you and those with whom you come in contact. Remember, your heart has a magnetic field that extends several feet outside your body, and this can be sensed by others with whom you come in contact. Just like we are sensitive to people’s negative emotions, we can also sense positive emotions. Just imagine how different our world would be if we all practiced these simple actions.

So… there you have it.

I have provided you some basic review on negative and positive emotions and the connection between the heart, brain and emotions, and the concept of coherence. I have provided you with three simple techniques that can create a higher sense of coherence in your life and in the lives of those you encounter.

Now it is up to you to practice these techniques and utilize them for greater physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing for you and those around you.

I hope you find this helpful.

Peace,

Jim Ferguson

Good Grief: Are You Shitting Me?

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lucky shit

Damn… I’m … We’re … Lucky.

No shit!

Today, in 2019, we don’t die from diabetes (immediately) or childbirth or smallpox as much.

Diphtheria, TB, cholera, syphilis? Not a whole lot.

A whole pile of diseases and conditions to which we had little choice in the matter (Type 2 diabetes aside) don’t typically ravage families and communities they way they once did.

Who gets scurvy anymore? Rickets? Plumber’s butt?

Sure, we’re lucky. But I’m still scared you know. I’m not resting on Easy Street.

There are a million diseases that can ruin our lives today; we have a long list of conditions that continue to stymie our ability to diagnose and treat effectively. Which brings us to….

*drumroll*

Medical scientists and researchers are starting to put other people’s shit inside of us to make us feel better.

Stool transplants.

Dumpster diving in reverse. Shit surrogacy?

stool syringes

The medical community is dressing it all up in formal evening wear by relabelling fecal transplantation as bacteriotherapy or fecal microbiota transplantation (FMT).

What moron thought up this idea? A bunch of pre-med frat boys on an overnight bender? Hey Pete, instead of smoking the hell out of these doobies, why don’t we hook up a tube between our assholes and exchange some real shit?

Nope, it began long before stoned college dudes.

Fecal transplants originated in ancient Chinese medicine more than 1,700 years ago. In those good ole days, this involved drinking a liquid suspension of another person’s feces — umm, no thanks? I’ll stick with chocolate ice cream milkshakes please.

The consumption of “fresh, warm camel feces” has also been recommended by Bedouins as a remedy for bacterial dysentery. Umm… did I mention NO THANKS?

The first use of faecal transplants in western medicine was published in 1958 by a team of surgeons from Colorado, who treated four critically ill people with severe pseudomembranous colitis (before C. difficile was the known cause) using faecal enemas, which resulted in a rapid return to health.

……………..

But why would I want your shit? Isn’t that what sewage treatment plants are for?

According to the Wikipedia gods:

Stool transplant, is the process of transplantation of fecal bacteria from a healthy individual into a recipient; it involves restoration of the colonic microflora by introducing healthy bacterial flora through infusion of stool, e.g. via colonoscopy, enema, orogastric tube or by mouth in the form of a capsule containing freeze-dried material, obtained from a healthy donor.

The effectiveness of stool transplantation has been seen in clinical trials for the treatment of Clostridium difficile (CDI) infection, whose effects can range from diarrhea to pseudomembranous colitis.

Due to an epidemic of Clostridium difficile in North America and Europe, faecal transplant has gained increasing prominence, with some experts calling for it to become first-line therapy for CDI.

In 2013 a randomized, controlled trial of stool transplant from healthy donors showed it to be highly effective in treating recurrent C. difficile in adults, and more effective than vancomycin alone.

Faecal transplant has been used experimentally to treat other gastrointestinal diseases, including colitis, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, and neurological conditions such as multiple sclerosis and Parkinson’s.

In the United States, human feces has been regulated as an experimental drug since 2013.

poop transplant

The authors of a 2016 review suggested that fecal transplants may eventually treat additional conditions such as:

  • diabetes
  • chronic fatigue syndrome
  • fibromyalgia
  • obesity
  • mood disorders, such as depression
  • nonalcoholic fatty liver disease
  • hay fever
  • arthritis
  • asthma
  • eczema

Nice … I’m ?happy? … but you can’t just shove someone else’s faeces inside of me and expect me to smile and say thank you very much.

Faecal transplants are NOT on my Flavour of the Month list.

OK, maybe if I transplant the faecal matter of someone handsome and charismatic, it could make a beautiful difference in my life. I could be Tom Cruise or Chris Hemsworth … but no, I don’t want to be a Scientologist or speak with an Australian accent.

I’ll happily take your heart or lungs or kidney (but only if you decide you don’t need them anymore), but keep your own damn poop, OK?

In my lab career, I poked around in thousands and thousands of others’ multi-hued, multi-textured night soil… I could write a fabulous Dr. Seuss book called Oh, The Doo-Doo I’ve Seen. 

I’ve carried my own shit around for … well … a lot of years.

But, if you think – all of a sudden – that I want to carry yours around inside of me for the foreseeable future…

well…

YOU are full of ………….

 

dog poop

SING! SING!! SING!!!

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MAry Poppins singing

Mary Poppins loves to laugh… Ha Ha Ha!

Laughter is wonderful and marvellous… yet, it’s a moment that dissipates quickly like steam clouds from a kettle. Like snowflakes on your tongue. Like a shooting star in an inky sky. Like losing my virginity. Gone…

But singing … yes, Mary Poppins loves to sing too!

Singing is a lasting memento that lingers and meanders and harmonizes … like a light tongue lick across your soft shoulder skin that tingles and teases and melts down through your body to the nether regions of dark deliciousness.

Sorry, where was I?

Kids love to sing. Dogs and coyotes love to sing.

I love to sing… I’ll bet you do too…

People just love to sing…

I sing by myself in the car … I sing in the shower … I sing solo at Open Mics … I sing in duets on various stages here in the Okanagan Valley. I’ll sing anywhere.

Sometimes people listen, sometimes they don’t. Doesn’t matter (I lied, it does!). Singing transcends ego.

IMG_0385.jpg

Me, Nancy and Jimmy in Yellowknife’s Hoist Room. 1978.

In Yellowknife, I sang Valdy and CSN songs with Jimmy and Nancy and Steve in the Arctic bars; in William’s Lake I sang Dylan songs in Cowboy Country coffeehouses with John; today I sing Civil Wars and Willie Nelson songs with Marie and David.

My earliest memories of singing were in Grade 6 at Glen Brae Middle School in Hamilton, Ontario.

I sang in Mrs. Laing’s class choir… my friend Danny and I both loved harmonizing- at lunch break we’d rush over to the Millionaire Drive-Inn (best Vanilla milk shakes ever!) and buy a root beer and a 25¢ burger wrapped in tin foil, before running back to practice with the group. We sang Love Is Blue (L’Amour Est Bleu). Simple harmony parts but it was beautiful.

I wonder if Danny still sings somewhere out there today?

My daughter went out to sing last night … Vancouver’s Vogue Theatre was jammed with 1,000 enthusiastic strangers filled like feathers in a pillow to the peak of the balcony … every single person there singing their hearts out for one night … belting out DANCING QUEEN young and sweet, only seventeen …oooooo oooooooo.

CHOIR! CHOIR! CHOIR!

choir choir choir vancouver

In a few months my sister in Ontario will be having the same CHOIR! CHOIR! CHOIR! experience (except a different song I’m sure). Communal singing in sheer joy.

My daughter and sister aren’t unusual.

It used to be that adult choirs were typically associated with churchgoers. That’s still true to a certain extent but general community choirs are rising like fervent yeast in a warm cozy kitchen. Everyone loves to sing and harmonize.

Singing is the like the mellowing effects of legal cannabis, an infusion of the perfect tranquilizer, the kind that soothes your nerves and elevates your spirits.

Endorphins and oxytocin don’t only emanate from the runner’s high that carried the Boomers through the ’70’s and ’80’s.

Singing releases these “feel good” hormones too. That explains why a number of studies have found that singing lessens feelings of depression and loneliness.

The great thing about choir singing is you can really suck at it and no one knows. My wife, who could be described as lacking “perfect pitch” but charged with lots of vocal enthusiasm, joined a Sweet Adelines chorus years ago and her voice became subsumed and absorbed into the blender of voices. What is better than that?

All sorts of people with terrible voices sing at Karaoke bars because … well… it’s fun, it’s merry, it’s joyous – to use an old expression… it’s gay … even without 10 B-52 shooters on board.

Singing is cheaper than therapy, healthier than drinking, and less sweat inducing than working out.

Singing immerses us in the waters of our past with small tidal fragments of memories, ripples of happiness and melancholy … all the things that make us real and human.

Yes, singing is the one thing in life where feeling better is pretty much guaranteed … where darkness is shaded out by light, depression pushed down and away, smiles made brighter and broader…

… and Mary Poppin’s kites fly higher and higher in the sweet gentle air of endorphins.

water memories

The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed a Mountain…

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Stairway to heaven

I’d love to live to 100… but, if I don’t… well… if the news about anti-depressants being detected in municipal water systems is true, at least I’ll knock on the Pearly Gates with an upbeat smile on my face.

I may even throw a tiny teehee at St. Peter about whether I’m in the right place…

……………….

(Tragically, three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the gates of heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter. 
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”, asks St. Peter. 
The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” 
The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.” 
The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say…… LOOK!!! HE’S MOVING!!!!!”)

……………….

That’s me!

I’m not really afraid of the actual dying part, but I am nervously anxious of missing out on all those things that are important around me.

There is a universe of incredible beauty that wraps itself around us in warmth and comfort… the melody lines of the songbirds, the peach-blushed fiery sunsets and star-speckled inky night skies… the cozy love and generosity of our treasured ones.

I don’t want to leave any of that grace, that splendour, in the rear view mirror. Must all of the soul-elevating harmonic music disappear?

Years back, I used to think that once my kids were born, I could at last die happily knowing there would be investment and insurance $$ to give them a good forward push down the toboggan hill of life. What more could I possibly need from this world?

toboggan

But here I am – still – today, brimming with I’m-so-lucky pride over my grown up kids, and I’m acclimatizing myself to the idea that I’d really like to see the cute faces of, and share time with my yet-to-be-born angelic grandkids.

And I’d still love to visit a ton of places like Cairo, Moscow, Budapest, San Antonio, Texas and The Alamo (here’s a moving modern-day hurting song about the Alamo that I studied in a songwriting course).

So… life at 100. Yea or Nay? Would you like a piece of that cake?

In 2011, the Canadian Census enumerated 5,825 people aged 100 years and older, or a rate of 17.4 centenarians per 100,000 persons. The 2016 census counted 8,230 centenarians, a 41.3 per cent jump over the 2011 figures. That’s pretty impressive.

Yup, our odds are on the increase.

But, I’m already nearing the dropping off point where my Ma died (aged 61).

And in another decade I’ll catch up to my Dad’s departure gate of life (age 73). “Those passengers in Age Rows 70-75 may now approach the gate.

I sense that I’m stepping ever closer to the raggedy sharp edge of a cliff with no railings and no safety net below.

The weighty question: Do our parents write the rough draft of our autobiographies?

I’m going for a “To 100 or Bust” re-write of my life story, but we’ll see what happens.

100 years old.jpg

Here’s the plan: I’m doing some positive stuff that my parents were culturally blind to in terms of health and longevity. They knew nothing about fibre content of various foods, Type 2 diabetes, or the true lung and heart choking seriousness of smoking and weight control.

It’s a crap shoot but I figure I can do a few things to nudge my odds up the steep wall… what’s to lose?… my grandkids deserve a TMI-sharing curmudgeon in their lives.

Will current scientific knowledge and my own resolve get me over the genetic hurdles I face, and welcome me into the Centenarian Club?:

  • I exercise just about every day… run, yoga, bike, boot camp, tennis, HIIT train, swim, spin class. It’s a part of my habit train that I can’t and don’t want to get off. Endorphins and muscles are just too much fun!
  • I sleep 7-8 hours most days… add in delicious naps and I can get to 9 if I’m lucky. Unlucky you to be around me when I miss those zzz’s… I don’t function well on poor or shortened sleep.
  • I try to help others… I often feel damned guilty about not picking up hitchhikers, but my altruism comes through in other areas like working at the soup kitchen and tutoring ESL and literacy students. I pretend it’s only to help others, but it makes ME feel good.
  • I eat a fair bit of fresh fruits and vegetables (my parents thought – OMG! – that canned green peas were health food). And under the TMI category… my bowel habits are exemplary! That’s the GOOD! Here’s the BAD!: I do eat more meat than I know is best and I have an insatiable sweet tooth for baked goods and chocolate.
  • I drink scads of water plus a cup or two of coffee (via latte) each day and one or two glasses of wine or light beer each week. Depending on the science article-of-the-week (Fake News?), this may be helpful. I know it’s enjoyable.
  • I drive my car between the lines on the road and generally stick pretty close to the posted speed limits… which is why I love driving in Utah or Montana with their 85 miles per hour legal highway speeds!
  • I exercise my mind with reading and blog writing and practicing guitar. The mere mental exercise of trying to remember the recipes for a ton of mixed drinks in my occasional bartending “retirement” job is a huge cerebral workout. Then add in figuring out what the new words mean that my kids throw at me is a bonus (e.g. “He was the BOMB!”… “What? he blew up?”)
  • I hang around as much as possible with people that are supportive, make me smile and sport upbeat positivity. I cross the street to avoid the unfortunate Debbie or Donald Downers who throw gloomy anchors in all directions.

You may have noticed that I like certain numbers. Investment returns of at least 15% annually… 10,000 practice hours… or 1,000 hours… 8 hours of sleep… sub 2-hours for a half marathon run.

Life is a cup of meaning in the joy of numbers.

Today I’m adding a new number to my list.

100. 

I like goal setting as an incentive to a milestone or mountain peak.

Why don’t we climb up this mountain and see if we can summit and high five at the 100 peak of life?

mountain peak.jpg

Babies, Bibles, Bellies, and Bikinis…

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Lab coat at the beach.jpg

I wasn’t wearing my white lab coat, just my blue striped Under Armour bathing suit. Wearing a lab coat to the beach in the summer is just plain silly.

Wading through the mid-afternoon searing hot air yesterday to Sunoka Beach for the first time this year – first stopping en route for a quart basket of fresh, juicy Lapin cherries at Blossom Fruit Stand – reminded me of my former working life in the laboratory. I’ll tell you why in a minute.

Actually, it felt like I was heat-swirling in a summer blender of beauty and laughter and worry.

Standing in the shade at the top of the wide, white and grey granite stairs that lead down to the warm, cozy sand of our local Okanagan Lake beach, I gazed over the crowded scenario on my left and right.

There’s been flooding this year and the lake level is so high that only a really narrow landing strip of sandy beach exists, you might say kinda like the lap-zone of a woman post-waxing.

Placing hordes of sunbathers on a congested strip of sand concentrates the view so I can absorb a whole whack of sunshine-soaked society in a quick scan.

It was a gorgeous afternoon, lots of human and motorboat sound, accompanied by french fry-scented breezes that attempted to woo and seduce me in the sultry heat.

IMG_0520.jpg

Sunoka Beach water lapping at the trees normally well back from the water’s edge

The beach held a balance: a human balance of gender (not sex, although there is no shortage of eye-sex going on out there), rainbow skin-tones ranging from black-brown-golden-red-white-pink, ages from infant to elderly, choices of book or Kindle/Kobo, shade seekers and sun soakers.

Looking about, I spied a few stunning, beautifully-toned bodies (sadly I can’t count myself in this category!), a scattering of young couples with adorable babies and yearlings and chatty two year-olds, a large group of teenagers and young adults from a nearby bible camp – waist deep – tossing footballs in the surprisingly warm water…

… but mostly – and this is where my former lab occupation, and my sense of worry kicks in – the sandy shoreline was replete with tourist and local bodies knowingly or unknowingly waiting in line for…  metabolic syndrome… that wondrous triumvirate of diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol… our society’s menu special-of-the-day.

Maybe I was hallucinating a touch in the swelter, surveying a diabetic epidemic tsunami washing over the beach in front of me.

For the last 10 years of my lab career I sat in front of a computer (whoa, another high-risk diabetes sign!) monitoring numbers Alice’s Restaurant-style: “… injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected, and selected…“… diabetes statistics

Yup, lots of numbers… lots of burgeoning numbers… lots of out-of-whack blood sugar and A1C test numbers, numbers that wrote a horror story book of self-inflicted auto-immune Russian Roulette.

I didn’t need a special book of instructions on what to look for this day on the sand. It’s not difficult to spot the risky types; the Speedos and Jantzens so generously overflowing with loose, floppy skin, spilling over their waistlines like waterfalls, and bust tops stretching against their lycra restraints.

These sights pretty much tell the tale.

These were the same folks I would see day after day, week after week, filling the lab waiting rooms, quietly reading magazines while waiting for their quarterly diabetes tests.

Each day as I sat at my computer, I oversaw the scary numbers: the high levels of blood sugar, the high levels of cholesterol, and the rising tide of high blood pressure multiplied by the hundreds upon hundreds of newly diagnosed diabetics that walked through the lab doors each month.

Pancreatic panic. Insulin insolence.

Diabetes graph.png

Overwhelmingly, the nice folks I added into the mushrooming database of newly-diagnosed diabetics were not regular denizens of the walking tracks, the gym, the tennis courts or the golf courses.

The diabetes risk factors of out-of-control eating habits and low physical activity were, and are, the common denominator.

You should know that I’m no “Saint of Restraint” myself, this blog post is a warning shot across my very own bow – I love sugary snacks like creamy milk chocolate and cheesecake.

We’re victims of success. We’ve made it folks. Our western world has a Horn of Plenty in each of our refrigerators.

And at some point we’ve gone beyond the tipping point where good sense and discipline have totally melted away, making an employment opportunity in the lab for people like me that should never have been needed.

Our enjoyment of the sparkling diamonds in the water can linger warmly for years to come, or with inattention, sugar-dusted away in a chill wind.

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