Years ago, Steve Martin famously opined on Saturday Night Live his wishes for the world:
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If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.
You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing.. the second would be for the $30 million every month to me.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.”
All fine wishes, yes? (And if you agree, Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin have a seat for you in their Triumvirate Ring). Achieve these three wishes and Steve is a HAPPY dude for life!
Are you happy, someone asks? What do you wish for?
How about the Arabian Nights and the wishes granted to Aladdin by the genie?
“Fetch me something to eat!” was Aladdin’s first modest request… the wishes went uphill algorithmically from there.
WISH WISH WISH….
We spend a good part of our lives wishing… wishing for health, wishing for wealth, wishing for a nicer car, wishing for a bigger house, wishing for bigger breasts or a longer penis.
Wishes, like goals and dreams, can be wonderful and full of hope and motivating power.
Yes, wishes fill us with hope.
Conversely, wishes can be deceptive and harmful, contradictory even… this morning, as I walked outside, feeling a bitter windchill on my face, I was wishing that spring would come sooner… while simultaneously wishing that time wouldn’t pass so quickly. So, which one is it Larry?
Here’s the big question. Do fulfilled wishes equate to happiness? Wishing is, at its core, about seeking happiness, isn’t it?
Wishes can be practically realistic or nonsensical wistful thinking.
Every wish we make is anchored in the belief that we will be happier if that wish is achieved. Happily Ever After stuff…. *cue Jiminy Cricket and When You Wish Upon A Star
And everywhere I look… I see, hear and read that people are searching for happiness like it’s the Holy Grail.
HAPPINESS = HOLY GRAIL? The futile search…
It comes down to definition, maybe semantics, for me…
When someone asks: are you happy? What do you say?
My answer would likely come out as something like: hmmmm, right now? this minute? or do you mean all of the time? in all aspects of my life?
You see, continuous happiness isn’t a permanent state. How can it be?
I’m not convinced that happiness should be a permanent state. When you’re given a cancer diagnosis, are you in a state of bliss? When you fail your driving test, are you overflowing with joy?
Of course not… you’re hearing the Eagles singing in your head:
There’s a hole in the world tonight.
There’s a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There’s a hole in the world tonight.
Don’t let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.
I guess I seek out contentment more than happiness… contentment is a temporary state and tells me if I’m in a good place in one or more areas of my life. Contentment is sipping from the Holy Grail knowing that the cup won’t always be full… can’t always be full.
It’s a bit like splitting hairs… I think wishing is about creating a sunny break of contentment. The sun breaks through and we enjoy and appreciate the warmth of the moment for as long as it lasts.
When I’m living in a moment of equilibrium – good health for myself and my loved ones, stable finances, and healthy, happy interpersonal relationships – I am largely in a state of contentment. Bliss. Nirvana. These are the legs of my personal stool of stability.
Take away any of the legs of this stool and my contentment quotient drops. The sun is hidden by cloud. My Wish List changes from the ephemeral (toys, bells, and whistles) to the basic and essential. I am not content until sunny equilibrium returns.
I’d like to adopt the great and all-powerful Steve Martin’s wish list but might add one more item for contentment…
…yes, unlimited no-calorie chocolate and cheesecake… and of course… for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
What kind of a beast do you take me for?
Man On The Fringe 
Feb 06, 2022 @ 16:13:28
Well Sir Lawrence….this is an interesting blog and there is no easy answer to this as I suspect for every human being there would be a different perspective.
Allow me, if I may, to offer one person’s metaphysical viewpoint to this blog discussion on the nature of contentment and happiness. If one’s contentment and happiness is solely based on material pursuits it seems reasonable to think that there will be lots of highs and lows. We all go through periods in life where we feel we have great material success (like your stock market gains) and times of great material loss (like your stock market losses). It is inevitable that we will all experience gain and loss in life BUT maybe the true reflection of nobility of the human being lies in the ability to be happy and content even when all material possessions are lost. Hmmmmmm……now there is an interesting state of happiness/contentment. Is it only the great Prophets and Seers and Mystics than can achieve this or is this open to all of us?? Read on!!!!
OK…..as a Baha’i I am obviously influenced by my spiritual upbringing, and I would assume your blog followers of whatever faith tradition, or no faith tradition can identify those influences that guide their understanding of this theme.
A couple of insights from my Baha’i perspective…..
The Prophet-Founder of the Baha’i Faith-Baha’u’llah-was a prisoner and exile for over 40 years because of his teachings. The point I want to share here is that his son Abdu’l-Baha shared his imprisonment and exile for over 40 years….from childhood until he was an elderly man. He made a very interesting statement once when asked by a reporter about his long years as a prisoner. I am paraphrasing but He stated that prison was merely a physical condition but that he awoke every day with joy in his heart and went to bed every night with happiness and never felt like a prisoner!!! I take away from this that happiness and contentment are a state of mind/heart/spirit. One of Baha’u’llah’s writings starts out with “Be generous in prosperity and thankful in adversity…” It is a great challenge to be thankful in times of adversity.
I have known those with very little material comforts yet who manifest the most amazing fortitude, happiness, contentment in the face of so little material bounty. I have met people in utter poverty, yet they are joyous and happy. Obviously…like Abdu’l-Baha and so many others…these people have discovered a deeper understanding of the mystery of happiness and contentment that transcends this material existence. Why else would Mother Teresa spend her whole life in destitution ministering to the needs of the poor? Or Ghandi? Or Nelson Mandela? Why would any of these great humans consent to live the lives they did if not for them discovering this mystical truth that their inner happiness and contentment had nothing to do with their material situation.
Maybe the Hindus had the secret over 4,000 years ago when it is recorded in their holy book the Bhagavad Gita: “When totally free from outer contacts a man finds happiness in himself…” Maybe true happiness and contentment can be found deep within each of us and no matter the storms and trials that batter us from the material world we can learn to discover within us those strengths that allow us to be content and happy under any condition.
The great 13th century Persian poet Rumi enlightens us further. He says: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” I wonder if this too applies to happiness and contentment. I think so. It is a deep inner exercise of identifying those inner barriers and to work to deconstruct these barriers and then love, contentment, happiness, etc will blossom therein. Hmmmmm….that Rumi was a smart dude!!!
OK…what would a blog remark on contentment and happiness be without at least one reference to Buddhism!!!!! Incomplete, right!!!! A Buddhist teaching states: “You should devote yourselves to find joy in pleasures of the Dharma, and should take no pleasure in desires.” Well…..the Dharma refers to the universal truth taught by the Buddha. My take home message here re: happiness and contentment isthis: to find joy in life devote one’s attention to the universal teachings of the Buddha and turn your attention away from the things of this material world. Seems straightforward. NOT!!!! 🙂
Well Larry…I will stop here. Hopefully I have offered your bloggers a slightly different perspective on happiness and contentment i.e. that it is a state of mind…a state of being…and even under the direst of circumstances we can dig deep within ourselves and mine out those gems of happiness and contentment.
Peace,
Jim
Feb 08, 2022 @ 18:47:59
Hey Jim… you always find a deeper, more complete way of adding to my thoughts. You have taken us into another whole dimension of viewing and thinking about happiness and contentment citing a variety of treasured sources. Your illustrations lead me to further examples such as Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” and the well-known movie “La Vita e Bella”… those who are thankful in times of adversity.
Thanks for your profound insights James …
Feb 08, 2022 @ 20:04:19
Heh Larry……yes indeed…Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” is one of my favs too. Love that book. I’ll have to check out La Vita e Bella. That’s a new one for me.
Peace,
Jim