Sent: Sunday, September 2, 2018 06:01 AM
To: Donald J. Trump
Subject: Re: FAKE E-Mails
What?
I get an e-mail from a friend, relative, or acquaintance at least once a week that is unintelligible. Clipp. Incomple. Non-sensi…
This week I got two in one day.
I’m gonna vent here because … well… maybe because I’m worn down by the smoky haze that hotly raging forest fires have inflicted on this valley for the month of August… or …
… maybe just because I’m sad that summer is winding up already and I’ve barely managed to swim in Okanagan Lake 3 or 4 times.
The trout are sending me soggy letters telling me they miss me.
When I was a young grasshopper, my English teachers pounded into my head the idea … the notion … that when you communicate with anyone, whether written or spoken, you need to remember your 5 W’s and H. Right?
Standard, journalistic stuff. Grammar gold nuggets.
And, if YOU don’t understand the 5 W’s and an H, then you’re probably on my “GD Frustrating Communicators” list.
OK… the 5 W’s are Who, What, Where, Why and When… the H is How.
Yes, I get impatient. Please shoot me in a few years if I start making remakes of Grumpy Old Men.
Like many of you out there, I know that there are only so many hours in a day and I want to travel somewhere stunning and exotic in my existence.
Truthfully, I waste a lot of time. My head likes nothing better than to float in the clouds, a lazy glider dipsy-doodling in the updrafts of invisible feathers.
And… if I get to the end of my day… and I feel like I’ve taken even a baby step forward, maybe a tiny 1% improvement in some area of my life, well… I sleep better.
So, when folks send me an e-mail that’s supposed to help me along in my travels, I don’t want to be stuck in an airport holding lounge because they didn’t take the time or manufacture the thought energy to be clear in what they are saying.
You’re squandering my raindrops of time. Let me fly!
I know you have a wide-open prairie landscape of background and context inside your head, so please open up like a spring wheat kernel and share it with me, OK?
Right, an example.
This week, I got this e-mail from a friend (who hopefully doesn’t read my blog posts!) I play guitar and sing with sometimes:
Well it looks like this Friday night is back on at the request of the Widow …won’t be here 2 weeks down the line.. I’m not really ready for Right Down the Line yet Larry so if you are coming to play this week do your own stuff if not we’ll do it together in two weeks.“
OK. Weird grammar aside (I accept punctuation and spelling gaffes in e-mails) I’m scratching my head wondering what’s wrong with me… like,
- Who the hell is the “Widow”?
- And, who won’t be there in 2 weeks, you or the “Widow”?
Is this message supposed to be encrypted in code so some crazed Nazi won’t intercept and lay waste to the earth?
Author Ursula le Guin :
two people talking, form a community of two. People are also able to form communities of many, through sending and receiving bits of ourselves and others back and forth continually — through, in other words, talking and listening. Talking and listening are ultimately the same thing.
When you talk (write) to me, we both need to touch… feel… taste… the meaning and emotion of the communication dance. 1,2,3…1,2,3…
A good dance partner is clear in communicating the motion, whether giving or receiving.
Ginger always knew that Fred would be coherent and definite, Fred always knew that Ginger was conveying an equally clear response (even when dancing backwards in high heels!)
I write for a whole host of reasons, some selfish, some altruistic.
I write because words and language are ravishing and elegant and sexy.
I write because I want to understand.
I write because I want to communicate and be understood.
An e-mail message surely shouldn’t be a jigsaw puzzle of jumbled, mismatched pieces that I can’t decipher.
Bottom line…
• Who? All of us. Me included.
• What? Write an e-mail where I can understand your meaning and emotional direction.
• Where? Anywhere. Isn’t e-mail fantastic that way?
• When? All day, everyday.
• Why? So I don’t misunderstand and read your words through my own crazy, warped filter.
• How? Easy. Remember and use your high school 5W’s and H! Voilà!
Simple and yet so hard it seems.
No FAKE News or E-mails here.
Man On The Fringe 
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