I don’t cry very often…
Of course as a kid I cried all the time, how else would I get my Mom’s attention when my brother Gord was pounding on me. I learned at a tender age that childhood is all about manipulating the parents … sorry Gord.
But maybe half a dozen times in my adult life, have I felt the warm tingle of salty trickles on my cheeks. Strangely I don’t seem to have the gene that turns on the waterworks over life’s saddest moments: the death of a relative, the loss of a pet, a lover’s rejection. I feel the loss and the pain inside, but the sensation of welling tears just doesn’t happen. People probably think I’m weird … and probably, I agree.
It’s not because I’m some strong, hulking man of a man that thinks it’s sissy-like to cry. I hold no anti-tear grudges. And I’ve told you before that I prefer Chick Flicks over Action-Adventure movies. Tell me that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are putting out another movie, and I’ll be there in a flash.
The occasions when I do feel the greatest swelling of emotion with a rising tide of tears come from the warmth and tenderness of music. A few minor notes on the piano, and the O-ring seals on my lacrimal glands begin to malfunction.
Genre? Doesn’t matter. Classical, Pop, Country. They all contain the seeds of sadness and desire and loss that pierce deeply.
Now that I’m trying to net a few drops from the same ocean of emotional depth in writing music of my own, I realize how difficult it is to capture and draw the pathos from the depths and bring the sadness to the surface of our souls.
There’s a mixture of items that contribute to the sadness we experience in listening to music — the music alone can do it; at times, the sorrow within the lyrics is the key; for the greatest wallop, a melancholy mixture of music and lyrics combined knocks it out of the teary-eyed ballpark.
The circumstances of our lives at the time that we listen to a song have a major impact too. The poetry of loss…
I’ve never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind a cloud
To hide it’s face and cry
… at the same moment we experience separation or divorce will drive the point home at double-strength.
The death of a parent or child coinciding with a song of grief…
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please
Beyond the door there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven
…makes a huge impact.
I hear the swell of the violins in Theme from Anne of Green Gables, the halting notes on the piano from Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, the swelling of Josh Groban’s voice in You Raise Me Up, and I feel the tightening in my throat and the moisture developing in my eyes.
We all have our touchstones, the musical themes or cues that strike most deeply into our core. Songs that scratch the sadness itch – no matter how painful – bring the comfort of knowing that someone else out there is experiencing the same pain that we feel in our heart. It’s paradoxical that a salve of musical sadness can be healing.
My 10 most tear-jerking, heart-tugging musical picks:
- Oh Daddy — Shari Ulrich
- You Raise Me Up — Josh Groban
- Theme from Anne of Green Gables — Hagood Hardy
- Theme from Summer of ’42 — Michel Legrand
- Fire and Rain — James Taylor
- At Seventeen — Janis Ian
- Rainy Day and Mondays — Carpenters
- Theme from Midnight Cowboy — Harry Nilsson
- Moonlight Sonata — Ludwig von Beethoven
- Hello It’s Me — Todd Rundgren
- Tears in Heaven — Eric Clapton
- Someone Like You — Adele
- Diary — Bread
- Canon in D Major — Johann Pachelbel
Tomorrow marks Remembrance Day in Canada. There are few human activities that bring sadness to so many as war. Let me add these few sorrowful tributes:
- Scarlet Tide — Alison Krauss
- We’ll Meet Again — Vera Lynn
- The Green Fields of France — Eric Bogle
- Christmas in the Trenches — John McCutcheon
- A Pittance of Time — Terry Kelly
I guess sad songs are just like salt-crispy potato chips, it’s hard to stop at just a few. I couldn’t bring myself to a halt at just 10. I realize I could keep adding more and more but I’ll leave a bit of vacant space in your mind to add your own heartbreakers.
Care to share a few of those musical notes that plunge to the deepest part of your soul?
Nov 10, 2013 @ 07:08:32
Great Blog, Larry…crying while typing my choices =>(
The Prayer-Celine Dion & Andrea Bocelli
We Rise Again-The Rankins
I’ll Be Home For Christmas- The Carpenters
Baby Mine-Bette Midler
Something- The Beatles
The Living Years- Mike and the Mechanics
Someone Saved My Life Tonight-Elton John
Nov 11, 2013 @ 08:35:10
When the waves roll on over the waters
And the ocean cries
We look to our sons and daughters
To explain our lives…
We Rise Again is one of my all-time favourites, both the lyrics and music are epic…
Thanks for your ideas Bev, love ’em all…
Nov 10, 2013 @ 10:55:43
Oh Larry, you really want me to cry? Fine. 🙂
“And So it Goes” – Billy Joel
“When You Say Nothing at All” – Either the Keith Whitley version or Allison Kraus & Union Station’s version
“Nobody Knows Me” – Lyle Lovett
“Angel” – Sarah McLauchlin
“Drift Away” – The Nylons
“Thank You For the Music” – ABBA
“Just a Little Dream” – Connie Kaldor
“Butterfly Kisses” – Bob Carlisle
And that’s just a start.
I know I tend to wrap a lot of what I feel (say, in times of grief), and attach it to a song, and when I hear that song, the song brings back some of the emotions.
Dang, music is powerful.
Nov 11, 2013 @ 08:41:20
Alison Krauss, Connie Kaldor, Sarah McLachlan… a trio of my favourite female singers. Powerful…absolutely…
Great choices Jo…thanks
Nov 10, 2013 @ 11:27:11
Good blog Larry……….there are a lot of tunes that are so touching to me…….here are several:
-Il Silenzio as performed by the young Melissa Venema on trumpet found here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OyEL3NJSHIk
-I’m Already There by Lonestar found here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1jm5gfuT9Z4
-We’ve only just begun by the Carpenters (heh……..after all those times we crashed on your chesterfields in YK listening to Karen……..I’m entitled to pick her too…:-)
-My Immortal by Evanescence………wow!!!!!
-Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg…….wow!!!!
-When You Love a Woman by Journey………come on Larry…….how can I not have one tune by Steve “The Voice” Perry on this list……double wow!!!!!
-Amazing Grace by Il Divo aka the Four Tenors……….come on Larry……..how can you not be totally floored when the bag pipes start playing….WOW!!!!!!!…..not to mention one of the guys looks like Keanu Reeves & another like Robert Goulet & they both have great pipes!!!!! Check them out here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GYMLMj-SibU
-Imagine by John Lennon……….enough said!!!!!!!!
-Long, Long Time by Lunda Ronstadt……..always does it for me
-Foolish Games by Jewel…………wow!!!!!
and lastly,
-Free Bird by Lynard Skynard………..ok I’m just kidding here but had to throw a plug in for this tune that gets requested at virtually every concert known to humankind…:-)
Anyways……….the above are but a few from my list of soul stirrers.
Peace,
Jim
Nov 11, 2013 @ 08:54:26
Whoa, you took me back with your Carpenters, Linda Ronstadt, Dan Fogelberg choices ..and into new territory with amazing little Melissa Venema and then achingly beautiful Il Divo … all “Jewel”s …thanks for the songs and the background stories too James 😉
Nov 10, 2013 @ 15:53:12
Hi Larry,
I don’t think I have any O-ring seals on my lacrimal glands! When we watch movies, my family scrutinizes my face to see how long it will take for the first tear to fall. I do it with Christmas commercials, baby photographs–I cry for the sad and the happy, seeing heartbreak or profound grief, repeating a saying or phrase that a dearly departed used to say, animal videos, kids………….reciting my “thankful” list–I truly feel blessed, seeing family or friends that I haven’t seen for a long time….and then having to say good-bye…I’m just a marshmallow but come by it honestly: my Mom and her whole entire family, my ‘bro, his wife and kids and my hubby–Paul is a soft heart too (although not as bad as me) and I love him for it.
Songs–so many that make me cry either because I feel so happy or I feel the sorrow deep in my heart.
I’ll keep it short because so many good ones proceed me:
1. Somewhere Over the Rainbow: Judy Garland, Eric Clapton or Jeff Beck. All 3 versions make me cry
2. We’ll Meet Again by Vera Lynn. I remember Mom telling me how important this song was for her family living in England, while her 2 brothers were fighting in Germany in WWII. One was a prisoner of was for 2 years and came home weighing 90 pounds.
3. I’ll be Home for Christmas for the reasons cited above and also that I’ve spent 27 Christmases apart from my brother and family because of the miles of separation, so it gets to me
4. Unforgettable by Nat King Cole because this was “our song–Paul and me” at our wedding
5. Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen or K.D. Lang–or almost any other song by K.D. Lang
6. Ave Maria by Chris Botti–no words in this version, but when he opened with this the first time I saw him–I was Niagara Falls. Kind of embarrassing……
Nov 11, 2013 @ 09:05:28
Somewhere Over the Rainbow…I’d even add ISRAEL KAMAKAWIWO’OLE’s to your list of versions…Hallelujah for Hallelujah, what a fantastically powerful piece. I’m glazing over just thinking about I’ll be Home for Christmas, such a melancholy yet uplifting song. We’ll Meet Again is lovely in its own right but has so much more meaning to you and your family story, as does Unforgettable in a much happier way! Beautiful. Let the Niagara Falls flow freely Denise, I’ll send the kleenex 😉 Thanks…
Nov 12, 2013 @ 19:42:21
I did forget about “My Life” by the Beatles…always loved the song. It speaks to me. It took on new meaning after I played it after my eulogy to our dear friend Rick. It hits me in the diaphragm, then the throat, and then the tears–in a good way.
The 2 things that can always take me by surprise emotionally are songs and smells. The smell of grated lemon zest still takes me back to Mom and Dad making their annual Christmas cakes–their secret ingredient. Thanks for letting me take the time to walk down Memory Road again, Lar.
Nov 13, 2013 @ 15:13:41
It’s funny how we reach a point in our lives where Memory Road, with it’s sights, sounds, and scents is a nice road to travel…
… I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them… I’m always glad that you’ve been on my road…Lar
Nov 13, 2013 @ 17:00:00
From my list, you can add (and repeat) —
James Blunt “You’re Beautiful”,
K.D.Lang “Hallelujah” — such an emotional presentation at the Olympics,
Taylor Swift songs — Bazinga!!!
Luv,
Me
Nov 15, 2013 @ 15:20:20
Hey Betty… Hallelujah is one of those songs that seems to strike a chord, no matter who the singer is. I first heard it by Rufus Wainwright, so everyone else is judged relative to his fine interpretation. KD (Lang) is the best KD after Kraft Dinner in my books.
And I absolutely must agree, just about every Taylor Swift song brings me to TEARS too! I see RED 😉 Thanks Betty…
Jul 06, 2014 @ 05:17:12