I wanted to grow a 1000 lb. pumpkin…just like Howard.

Howard Dill, of Windsor, Nova Scotia grew enormous pumpkins, called Atlantic Giants. Super GINORMOUS pumpkins…1000+ pound orange gourds. And then he sold the seeds to others who wanted to try growing these monsters. And just this year a Rhode Island gardener grew the very first 1 ton pumpkin (2009 pounds). Dill died 4 years back, but he was the father of today’s Heaviest Pumpkin contests that take place all over North America.

A few years ago I organized a pumpkin growing contest with my work colleagues using some of Dill’s seeds. We all planted and lovingly tended the expanding fleshy gourds in our yards. In running this event for about 4 years, the largest one grown by any of us tipped the scale at just under 300 pounds. My personal orange globe never came close to winning, which is probably why I stopped running the event after 4 years. I can only take so much failure!

It wasn’t for lack of trying. I read Howard Dill’s pumpkin growing instruction sheet–it’s all in the sex!

Great Pumpkins need (or at least want) sex just like the rest of us.

There is a whole catalogue of things you need to know and do to make a huge pumpkin, but one of the crucially important things is to fertilize the female at just the right time. Birds and bees can’t be entrusted with this important job.

When no one was watching (I’m a modest kind of guy and don’t want my neighbours viewing my sex life!), I would go out into my backyard with my Q-Tip (the penis). I’d wiggle it back and forth (I’m sexy and I know it!) over the pollen of healthy, robust looking male pumpkin flowers. Then, I’d plunge it down deep into the receptive centre of the female flower (the vagina). This is where and when conception occurs. We have pumpkin pregnancy!

Ideas are like giant pumpkins. To make extraordinary new ones, they benefit by some “great sex”!

The globe is filled with amazing people with amazing ideas. There are musicians, artists, scientists, writers, teachers, garbage collectors, animal trainers who brilliantly and consistently think of new and better ways to do everything imaginable. Little tweaks of what’s already there can turn lead into gold. Big, game-changing, innovative ideas become the diamonds.

And I believe that both gold and diamonds are buried within each of us and can be unearthed and brought to the surface with “Idea Sex”.

Bringing two seemingly-unrelated thoughts together is a mating ritual that often ends up arrested. But sometimes, just sometimes, a new idea baby is conceived that is unique and contains its own DNA and genetics that separate it from every other idea out there.

  • Triathlons combined 3 sports that had been popular for years into one giant, long marathon that enjoys huge popularity.
  • Fusion cuisine takes 2 or more ethnic food types and combines them into a new but exciting meal like “Haggis Pakoras”.
  • Cross-country skiing used to be just the classic back and forth motion to propel your body forward…then someone said, “maybe this would be faster and more efficient if we pushed our skis off to the sides like we were skating”…BOOM a new species of skiing was born.

One bigger example…Ryanair. This Irish air carrier could see that the costs of running airlines were so high that eventually most people would avoid air travel altogether. Labour costs, food costs, and fuel costs were putting lots of airlines out of business eg. United, Northwest Air, Mexicana, even American Airlines declared bankruptcy. It was just too expensive. So Ryanair married the idea of putting an airline and a Wal Mart together.

A No-Frills airline…no free food, no free luggage, immovable, tightly-packed  seats, fewer bathrooms on board, shoulder to shoulder with a superstore in the sky. They have you trapped at 35,000 feet for two or three hours, so why not use their staff (high labour cost) to push liquor and tobacco and perfume and food and and and. All of a sudden, an airline could take its high costs and make a decent living from something that was in its death throws.

What I’m suggesting here is that we all have some areas of passion in our lives that could benefit from idea sex. Things that get us out of (or into perhaps) our La-Z-Boys and doing something…reading, writing, knitting, soccer, piano playing, weight lifting, swimming, woodworking, motocross racing, skiing, gardening…you name it…there are a million things that we do or think about that we enjoy and/or are good at.

Why not let these ideas and interests cross-pollinate and marry into something unique and beautiful. I’m an enthusiastic and greedy consumer of others’ ideas and constructs. I love to immerse myself in all kinds of music and books and movies and technical doodads. The intelligence and ceaseless creativity of human minds continually leave me in awe of what has been manifested by others. But I tire of being a watcher, a spectator always gazing out at the lighthouse for direction.

A couple of maybe far-out examples??

Woodworking and Pianos…how about an Ikea-style “Piano in a Box” that the purchaser puts together at home with an Allen Wrench and a TON of patience!!

Reading and Swimming– swimming laps in a pool can be tedious and mind-numbing…perhaps a radio-transmitted audiobook into a water-resistant earpiece to help pass the time…now that’s multi-tasking!

I like to play my guitar, but I get tired of one genre of music sometimes. So, I play an old folksy tune like James Taylor’s Carolina In My Mind but with a calypso beat. I know…It’s not a huge leap of an idea but it gets my mind moving in directions where ideas are more forthcoming which is the space that I want to be in.

I’m not growing or having sex with Howard Dill’s giant pumpkins these days (although I might some day again), but I am searching for great idea sex in the idea factory that is my mind!

Just writing this blog exercises my mind to the point of cerebral exhaustion sometimes. But like all sex, when it makes you hot and sweaty, the end result is usually satisfying!